I was on a zoom call this morning with my much younger girlfriend….and was telling her about this guy that was interested in me, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to follow through with it, because he reminded me of someone else. And though I have good times with that someone else, he also provides challenges for me that take a lot of energy. Do I want to do that with a new person?

Then, I remembered writing this bit in our new book, ‘The Polyamory Dating Guide’. It’s in the section I wrote about dating when you are over 40.

Challenge 5 – Does our Experience Get in the Way?

I wonder if our experience in the dating world actually works against us? Instead of going in with fresh eyes, we see patterns in people that reminds us of others who either treated us wrong or something else and assume those patterns will hold up to the same outcome with the new person. And though sometimes that’s a good thing to recognize, it can also keep us from experiencing what could be a great time or even a new relationship.

That’s exactly what I’m doing and something to keep in mind as I continue to make myself available in the world of poly dating.